If you’re feeling limited or stuck somewhere in your life right now, it’s because you’re giving your power away. Somewhere.
A bold statement, and yet a very true one.
To illustrate, let me tell you about a client of mine who’d had a car accident and months later was still struggling with a lot of anger toward the woman who’d hit her. She was stuck in an emotional loop that she couldn’t get past.
Not only did that accident hurt her physically, but because she was a solopreneur, it hurt her financially as well, when she had to take off a lot of time to recover. She blamed the woman who’d hit her for everything, and that was the problem.
Because she blamed the woman, she gave away all her power around the incident.
While she had no control over the circumstance of the accident, she did have control over the way she was reacting to it. She just needed a little help to figure out how she could regain her power again.
The first thing we did is let her own her feelings by naming what they were. She was feeling angry about the whole thing, but because she knew it was an accident she was also feeling guilty about feeling angry. The accident made her feel helpless when she couldn’t work and the whiplash made it very difficult to do the things that should could normally do easily. It was frustrating.
It’s important to acknowledge how you’re feeling and not avoid it. When you avoid it, guaranteed, it will come back to bite you in the butt later. And it’s okay to be angry (I give you permission right here). You just don’t want to stay there, but it’s perfectly fine to feel the way you feel.
Next, she journaled about it for three days, allowing herself to get out everything she felt about the whole incident and how it negatively impacted her life. Up to this point, she’d really been holding it all in and not dealing with the emotional fall out. The journaling let her work through everything she was feeling, while she was taking responsibility for her emotion.
By the time we met again, she’d gotten all the anger out and was ready to start moving past it. So, we started talking about the good things that came from the accident.
There is something called post traumatic growth. It’s when you get a positive change in your life from a traumatic experience. The experience forces you to see things in a new way and because of it you think differently.
I wanted her to get this kind of positive growth from a bad experience.
There were three really great things that came into her life because of that accident.
- She got a new car and she’d really wanted a new one.
- Her relationship with her husband improved greatly because he realized that life was fragile, so he took more time and care with her.
- She doubled her business income because taking that time off made her realize she needed a new structure that didn’t require her to do everything. No more solopreneur!
The final step we took was to give gratitude to the woman who, through an accident, put her life on a new and really great path.
I’m happy to say that with this new outlook, she got out of the emotional loop and started living her life more fully again.
It’s not always easy to get there, but I think it’s important learn how to take back your power and gain control over your life again. No matter what you’re facing.
As soon as you give the power for what’s happening in your life to someone or something outside of you, you allow that person or thing to have control over your life.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
While you can’t control all the things that happen in your life, you can control your reaction to them.
By taking responsibility for the way you feel and for the actions you take (or haven’t taken, when you’ve done nothing about a situation), you can regain your power and get your life under control gain.
Sometimes having an outside voice for perspective is helpful. Why not book a complimentary consultation with me today to chat? Just click here.